After the Hearts and Flowers

Heaven help me for turning into some kind of cock-eyed optimist, but I want to see something positive come out of the horrible Rihanna - Chris Brown case. After this high profile case of (alleged) abuse, I hope that the black community will begin a serious discussion of domestic violence.

I know this is something of a dream. After all, many in our community excused R Kelly for his mistreatment of a minor -- in spite of the fact that it was pretty much an open secret in Chicago and elsewhere that Kelly was/is attracted to underaged girls, AND that bootleg copies of his notorious video could be purchased on the streets in the 'hood there. Already comments from the Brown camp are beginning work on his rehabilitation: he's a 'good kid', young people 'make mistakes'. There are even rumors that somehow Rihanna has some culpability for what happened to her , which we will learn 'once all the facts come out' Fans have begun rallying to his defense.

All this is, quite frankly, disgusting and inexcusable. "Good kids" don't hit women. It is not a "mistake" to bite women. Victims should not be blamed for their being attacked; they do not bring the abuse on themselves, no matter what 'facts' may or may not come out. We all need to remember these things as further information about this incident comes to light.

Many of us know adults who, as children, interposed themselves between male and female relatives and taken the impending attack upon themselves to stop men from abusing women further. At some point, we all -- particularly us men -- need to stop paying lip service to 'respecting the black woman' and actually prove it by saying "No more," "Never again." Let us use this high profile example of what happens far too often in our communities to take a firm stand and come together to stop violence against women. Enough is enough